Contributed by: Terry Matlen, ACSW
Back in January, I posted an article
titled
Letting Go: Embracing the New You where I
talked about the sadness one often feels when thinking of how life
might have been had we not been born with ADHD.
I'd like to explore this topic a bit
more; specifically, the feelings of guilt most of us- maybe all of
us- have felt at one time or another when realizing how our ADHD
affects those we love; particularly when it comes to our
children.
The other day, my daughter asked if I would like
to do a jigsaw puzzle with her. Forty years ago, I would have
jumped at the chance- I loved puzzles as a child! But as an adult,
I have always hated most children's games and activities. Board
games, which should be spelled "b o r e d", do just that to me:
they bore me to death. Card games do the same. When my children
were small, I forced myself to do these things but what followed
was a sense of guilt because I simply hated these activities and
felt awful that I showed little enthusiasm for doing them. I tried
to escape from then whenever I could. WHY did other parents seem to
enjoy these activities? They didn't fall asleep clutching their
playing cards or scrabble tiles. But I did. And obviously, I still
do. As for the other night, I avoided the jigsaw puzzle activity
and re-directed our attention to something that would engage me a
bit more.
Am I a bad mother because my brand of ADHD finds
these kinds of activities beyond boring?
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