AD/HD and Hypersensitivities: The Princess and the Pea Syndrome
It's 12:30 a.m and you force yourself off the computer and head for bed. Your alarm will go off in exactly 6 hours so you know you've got to get some good solid rest.
As you trudge into the bathroom to wash up, you begin to get more awake rather than sleepy. The tang of the toothpaste in your mouth and the roughness of the bristles jar your oral senses. As you search for your softest, most comfy pajamas, you realize you've left them in the washing machine and have nothing remotely as pleasant to sleep in. So you grab your 2nd favorite pair of PJs. But they just don't feel right. The tag on the collar starts to make your skin itch and ache at the same time. You begin to scratch. And scratch.
12:45 a.m and you collapse into bed. But you forgot to stretch out the sheets tautly and now you feel ridges of fabric ripping across your back, legs and arms. You get out of bed to pull them more tightly and jump back in. You are aware of bumps and irregularities and just can't get comfortable. The room is too hot. Or maybe too cold.
As you try hard to empty your brain of all your thoughts, worries and ruminations, you hear something. It is so loud, you wonder if it's coming from under your pillow. Tick tock. Tick tock. Tick tock. You realize the sound is not coming from the pillow; it's across the room. Your husband has purchased a new clock! And it's not digital. The noise pierces through your brain and you want to throw it out the window. Instead, you take it downstairs and put it under the couch. Even placing it in the next room wouldn't keep that horrible sound from reaching your sensitive ears.
1:15 am and you're still awake. Some odd odor is bothering you and you can't identify the source. It becomes stronger and stronger and you suddenly realize that a skunk has entered the house and sprayed the dog. You wake your husband up urgently to search for the poor victim so you can a) bath him immediately or b) throw him out of the house.
But the dog is at your side, not having moved the entire evening. You realize that the skunk is somewhere outside. You've been fooled again by your hypersensitive olfactory organ.
You hold your nose, place your arm over your ears and finally...FINALLY fall asleep. At precisely 6:30, your clock radio screams out an old Monkees tune and you wake up in a combined state of fog/fright, not knowing where you are, even though you've lived in the same house for 12 years. The awful song is now stuck in your brain and you WANT to take the Last Train To Clarksville. You start your day the same way you have for 35 years: being totally overwhelmed by your own senses. All of which are so finely tuned, that you feel like a piano string so tightly woven, just ready to pop.
Mary Jane Johnson, in her 1998 article titled: "Having ADD And Being Hypersensitive: Is there a Connection?" shares a fascinating exploration of AD/HD nuances that we don't often read, hear or talk about. We know the common AD/HD symptoms of hyperactivity/impulsivity. Or inattention, distractibility. But little is mentioned of the AD/HD and hypersensitivity connection. Sari Solden was one of the first to address it in her book "Women with Attention Deficit Disorder".
But until I began reading about AD/HD- particularly AD/HD in women- I thought I was just an over-sensitive baby who had no backbone, no spine. I thought I was the only one who had an exaggerated startle response to the slightest noise. A sneeze from the back of a restaurant could cause me to jump a foot straight up from my chair. Not fun when you have a glass of red wine in your hand.
Since reading more about AD/HD, and talking to my clients and friends with AD/HD, I've come to learn just how common hypersensitivities are in people with AD/HD.
I've since learned that I'm not crazy for hating:
- Walking on a sticky floor
- Synthetic clothes
- Panty hose
- Florescent lights
- Light touch to my skin
- Perfume
- Tags in my blouses
- Getting caught in the rain
- Malls
- Amusement rides
- Nail polish
Mary Jane, in her article, talks about her aversion to clothes with
fitted waistbands, various food textures (tomato sauce is fine.
Tomatoes are verboten!).
She and I share an aversion to loud TVs, unsolicited touch, large
crowds, and more. She lists many more from a survey she took of
attendees at the 4th annual ADDA conference that was held in
Washington, DC back in 1998. It's quite interesting to see what
adults with AD/HD listed as trouble spots. You can read her survey
results at http://www.addforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=26415
In working with adults with AD/HD, I will usually ask if they are
bothered by hypersensitivities and often they are amazed to hear
that they are not alone. Perhaps you too are bothered by the things
listed above and never realized the connection between that and
having AD/HD.
What To Do
First, recognize that this is part of your own neurology. You are
simply more sensitive to your environment and your own "skin".
Instead of trying to tough it out, find ways to make your life more
comfortable.
Here are some ideas to help you manage your hypersensitivities:
- If high heels are simply too painful to deal with, dump them for comfortable flats
- If the sound level is too high at home or at work, purchase special headphones that block out noise or consider white noise machines.
- If you have trouble falling asleep because of all the noise bouncing around inside OR outside your head, turn on a small fan or purchase a small bubbling fountain to sooth you to sleep.
- Try wearing soft, loose fitting clothing, particularly soft knits or cotton.
- If jewelry is bothersome but you must wear a watch, consider a loose bracelet watch
- If you become overwhelmed with too much stimuli, take yourself out of the situation. Go to a quiet place, close your eyes and take some deep breaths.
- After work, take off all clothing and jewelry and put on a loose fitting robe to help calm and center yourself.
- Have regular massages if you find that enjoyable (personally, I hate them!)
- Get out in nature as much as possible.
The main point is to stop fighting what you can't control and find
ways to ease you into your days with as much comfort as possible.
Remember, you're not "weird"...it's just your wiring.
Helpful Resources
"The Highly Sensitive Person" by Elaine Aron (Broadway-1997)
"Too Loud, Too Bright, To Loud, To Tight: What to do if you are
sensory defensive in an overstimulating world" by Sharon Heller PhD
(Harper Collins – 2002)
"Survival Tips for Women with AD/HD" by Terry Matlen, MSW
(Specialty Press-2004)
"Women with Attention Deficit Disorder" by Sari Solden, MS, MFCC
(Underwood Books-1995)
Copyright Terry Matlen, MSW and Mary Jane Johnson, PCC,
ACT
Terry Matlen, MSW., ACSW, is a psychotherapist and consultant
specializing in AD/HD in adults. She is the author of "Survival
Tips for Women with AD/HD", director of http://www.addconsults.com and
myADDstore.com and serves on the board of directors of the
Attention Deficit Disorder Association (ADDA). A popular presenter
at local and national conferences, Ms. Matlen has a passion for
raising awareness of the special challenges for women with AD/HD
and the unique issues parents face when both they and their
children have AD/HD.
Mary Jane Johnson, ACT, PCC, is a Professional Certified Coach that
works with women who have ADD and are struggling with organization
and time management. She was on the founding board of ADDA (1989)
and is currently Vice President of Programming.
Comment
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Comment by Batlise on May 3, 2011 at 6:31pm -
Now I don't feel so bad about being hyper sensitive over things - but I have to learn to live in a real world - it's not going to adjust to me (@%&*). I can't get a date to save my life - I got a crummy annual review - I wrecked my new car - my big flat screen TV is cracked and dead - wabbit season - duck seaeson - wabbit season - duck season ......
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Comment by Melody on April 27, 2011 at 10:20pm -
I have the same symptoms as Renae and also have two children who are definitely diagnosed ADHD. In fact, due to the complexities of their issues I have come to conclusion, along with our team of support professionals, to have them both receive a neurological evaluation to rule out the possibility of aspergers disorder. This is for some reason a really hard thing for me to do.... emotionally.
I blog about out trials and struggles at Life's Twisted Stitches, for those who are interested in reading more about parenting 2 children with neurological challenges.
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Comment by Renae B on April 27, 2011 at 10:06pm
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You have no idea how relieved I am to come across an article like this one. Over the past couple years, I have began to notice certain things about me that were "strange" to others...
If I'm in a room that has bright &/or fluorescent lighting, I can't stand being there very long. Even in my own home; my Interior Design instructor said that I'm afriad of color when he foudn out how my home is decorated...subtle, neutral, and curtains are rarely open. Sometimes my kids will mess with me and I get irritated; they put their hands near my face, or ???
I thoroughly love basketball; but after being in any sort of crowd, I feel run down & overwhelmed after a while. Simply from going though my hectic & stressful day, by 3-4p., I'm ready to go hide!! Is there any hope? I have 2 children I need to care for (one diagnosed with ADHD, one possible ADD)
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Comment by Karen DeBolt on April 27, 2011 at 3:03pm -
I struggle so much with sensory sensitivities especially to fragrance. Its so bad that I now just tell people that I'm allergic to perfume so that they can understand why I'm trying not to vomit. Its horrible in restaurants especially because it will literally turn my stomach if someone has too much cologne on in the next booth! I can't go into any kind of import store anymore because of the incense or potpourri smells! These are smells that most people enjoy which makes it even harder to explain.
I hear all the time from my clients who have children with ADHD that they are struggling with sensitivities of various kinds. The most common is the infamous tags in clothes and the seams in socks--fortunately its getting easier to find tagless and seamless clothes so that makes it easier. I'm hoping that sensory issues will be included in the latest DSM when it comes out because it is such a misunderstood aspect.
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Comment by Tammy L on September 23, 2009 at 7:57pm -
Being a teacher, wife and mom with ADHD and a son with the same, I have recently come to learn that the symptoms that are described in the article are all symptoms of Sensory Processing Disfunction (aka Sensory Processing Disorder) I learned that my son had it at a very young age after reading a fabulous book called, "The Out of Sync Child". What I didn't realize what that I also had it. As a 17 year teacher of Kindergarten and 1st grade, I am seeing a great deal of student who display symtoms of AD/HD and Autism Spectrum Disorders, and are often diagnosed with these things, are really kids who have Sensory Processing Disorders. The symptoms in all of the above mimic each other. Check into SPD. You might be suprised.
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Comment by Kathleen Christensen on June 10, 2009 at 4:11pm
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The fragrances they put in laundry products these days. The neighbors on both sides use them, and the odors float into our non-air-conditioned townhouse. Aaaaaaaaaaargh!
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Comment by Becca Colao on June 9, 2009 at 4:24pm -
Here's my blog response: http://www.thinkythink.com/2009/06/hypersensitive-to-noise.html
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Comment by Lovemypirates1121 on June 9, 2009 at 1:27pm -
Oh and one more thing...I see you don't like getting caught in the rain, but do you like Pina Coladas? LOL. Sorry, an earworm that got stuck when I read that.
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Comment by Lovemypirates1121 on June 9, 2009 at 1:21pm
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This is a great article, Terry. You know I have a faint memory of my mom taking me to some sort of therapist as a child who stuck my hand in various textured substances to see how I reacted to them. My mother, before I received the ADD diagnosis, suspected that I had Aspergers or some degree of autism because of my sensory issues and tendency to obsess over things.
It's actually good to know that these sensitivities are also attributed to ADD/ADHD and not a sign that I have more than one diagnosis to deal with!
That said it is interesting how ADD/ADHD does share some traits with disorders on the Autism spectrum.
© 2013 Created by Terry Matlen.
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